Khao Yai National Park (Thailand)

“All that mysterious life of the wilderness that stirs in the forest, in the jungles, in the hearts of wild men ” - Joseph Conrad

Made pleasant by the air conditioning, my minivan ride from Bangkok to Pak Chong took a mere three hours. Certainly, the distance suggested less than three hours, but considering the traffic and the absolutely confusing stops in small villages along the way - for some reason I'm sure, but none that came to mind at the time, or has come to mind since - I should not complain in any way at all. Rather, I consider the leg an ultimate success, as I found my way to the right place – Khao Yai National Park. The country side of Thailand is as one should expect it to be. There are so many tree and plant species growing out of the ground, out of the rocks, out of the houses, out of each other, that to name any of them would be an injustice to the rest of them, so I will just say it looked like a jungle; plain and simple, and end it there. The bedrock is completely limestone, so I will label it.

The Thai People – A Brief Note

They are wonderful. Perhaps it is because they live in a place where sunshine is ever present, and where life is everywhere; or perhaps it is their majority Buddhist religion that stresses good will towards others and rewards good karma. I do not know for sure, but I do know for sure that this “Land of Smiles” is exactly that; for the natives and for the visitors. They help others as if it weren't an option, just the right thing to do – the only thing to do. In general, they will go to the ends of Asia to direct and accommodate. My hospitality scale has a new high standard, and it is the Thai people. The French remain in solid grasp of the low.

My tour began in Khao Yai National Park at 8 in the morning and went until 6 in the evening on the first day. My tour group had other tourists, and they all had names and countries, but unfortunately, none of high importance, so I will just say I went on this thing with other tourists. All day, we drove around in the bed of a ford truck which had been outfitted to look like a safari vehicle from the Serengeti. It did a good enough job copying the function of what it tried to, and it allowed us views throughout the park where we could look for wildlife. Along the road, at one moment in particular, our guide abruptly stopped the vehicle and jumped out into the jungle. He went about ten yards into the thickness of it and grabbed something off of a tree. As he got closer I saw it was a long, white, skinny looking snake; a whip snake. Assuming he would just hold it for us to look at was the wrong assumption! He hopped into the bed of the truck and started reeling off facts as if they were fishing line. Mind you, the business end of the thing was swaying through the air and inching its' way closer to us the whole time. I felt it was an appropriate time to ask about how dangerous the snake was. I asked; he replied: “yes, dangerous but not poison. Bite often, and biting hurts.” This event set the tone for the day, and I prayed our guide was able minded.

We drove some more with outstanding vistas of the mountains and the jungle attached to those mountains. We passed through the set of the Jungle Book and came out through the set of Apocalypse Now. The pattern repeated itself for much of the day. On one of our stops, we joined a troop of Macaques as they were lazying about on the side of the road; seemingly doing nothing productive with their lives, besides checking their friend's backsides for parasites. Indeed, these are some bold creatures. They come right up next to tourist's and would hop aboard their laps if it weren't for the tourist's “shooing” them away. I cannot decide whether they are friendly, courageous, stupid, tame, wild, timid, dangerous, safe, careless, or all of these. They resemble us in so many ways, it is likely that they are all of these. They even have finger nails that look trimmed and groomed, albeit black as the road.

By and by, we found ourselves in the middle of the jungle, bushwhacking through the tangle of it all, on a three hour hike looking for more wildlife. We saw huge Hornbills soaring through air, spiders the size of tennis ball's, millipedes as long as my forearm, White Handed Gibbons swinging effortlessly through the canopy. We saw a hole in the ground next to a termite mound and our questionable-minded guide began poking deep into it with a stick. Out came an enormous scorpion. After some brief description of the thing, our guide began handling it, and then started towards me as he was doing such. I suppose I felt his confidence through the heavy and humid air, so I let him do whatever it was he was about to do, and before I realized what it was, I had a Forest Scorpion hitchhiking on my shoulder. If my heart didn't stop, it took a long nap, surely. Very well, I don't remember how long it was there, but I know it got off eventually and we continued on. The day ended in the search for elephants, not the finding of elephants, and we went back to the guest house for some much needed cold beer.

A half day tour followed where we explored a cave riddled with bats and statues of Buddahs, swam in natural springs, and visited a Monk encampment. I cannot say, behind honest eyes, that a string of things so surreal has happened to me before. Next stop – Cambodia... hopefully!

Bangkok Insomnia

" An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools " - Ernest Hemingway

Presently, I have digested enough of Bangkok's lunacy through experience to reflect that digestion, or perhaps throw it up. Though I have been to all breeds of cities over four continents in the past year; I can say, truthfully, that none are like Bangkok in any way besides that they, too, can be classified as cities. In Bangkok, one can walk from a Grand Palace where he prays to an Emerald Buddha atop a castle of gold, to a street market where motorized scooters rush past with barely enough room to fit a pineapple. The markets here are mystifying. The smells are abhorrent. The people are mesmerizing. It took two full days for my culture shock to be downgraded to culture surprise. I feel now that I am adjusted enough to function as a regular human being should function.

Now; the people. They are timid to Westerners but have the capacity to scam them into all sorts of tourist traps. My first day in Bangkok, I was met by a man on the street wearing nice clothes who spoke decent English who asked me: “Where are you going”. I told him that I was just walking around for a bit getting my bearings. He asked me: “Where are you from” and I told him that I was from America. His eyes lit up and he said: “ I have Uncle in Detroit”. After some basic back and forth, broken and scattered conversation, a tuk-tuk pulled up next to us. The man told me to get in and that the driver would take me to a tourist information office where I could plan weeks of my trip in advance; like bus tickets and hotel accommodations. Very well, I got in and took a wild ride through the city to a broken down, beat up office, where I was told to go speak with the people inside. I did just that. It was ten minutes into the most wretched conversation with the most backwards communication I have ever been a part of, until I realized that I was being washed around and around in a tourist trap; close to buying a trip to Northern Thailand to see elephants, instead of buying bus tickets to local hotels. It hit me all at once, and I said something along the lines of: “oh, ok!, I must go now”. The women I had been talking to realized she had failed and would not even look me in the eye. Score one for the tourist. I went back to the hostel. This is one story of many scam stories I could tell, but this one was my first, and the one I got caught in. The rest I have had the luxury of experience to recognize as sewage, and have steered away.

Mayhem is everywhere in Bangkok at night. Try a few cups of coffee followed by a few rounds of drinks before leaving the hotel; and then maybe another cup of coffee. The first step into the street is like being hit by a truck of activity ( and look out for actual trucks too ); locals asking strange questions, neon lights everywhere, food stands as far as one can look, massage parlors every ten yards, shops with more merchandise than all the malls in America combined, dogs wandering around as if they were going to the market for fruit, cats walking across window sills and in restaurants as if they were inspecting their operation and monitoring their employees; people sleeping, eating talking, wandering, playing, singing, dancing, cooking. There is life and movement in all the atmosphere. There is chaos all around that somehow, though no one can say why, manages itself as if an efficient machine.

The food is as wonderful as can be expected, if the right dish is chosen. Always a gamble it is pointing to something on a menu and hoping not to get something with eyeballs or pulsating lungs. When success is reached, the combination of spice and texture is glorious. Healthy too, I should imagine, as most dishes contain all sorts of vegetables and rice. Perhaps the best part is the price, though. A full meal on the street will cost no more than 2 or 3 US dollars – as much as some candy bars at home.

Surely, Bangkok is a rare combination of dirt and cleanliness, poverty ridden streets and palm trees. Beauty and the beast kind of a city, I think. I can't decide whether I hate it or love it. In the morning I am taking a river boat up the most polluted river I have ever seen - nasty dog sized lizards eating it's trash: and in the afternoon I am getting a Thai massage for an hour in the most relaxing setting imaginable, with jungle sounds and cool breezes all around, for ten dollars! I think I love it. I think!  

Far Side of the World (Bangkok)

" Houses are full of things that gather dust " - Jack Kerouac

Before Departure:

In an effort to keep myself entertained, I will travel to Southeast Asia – the release back into unemployment; the seven vaccinations needed; the $600 malaria pills required; the prescription antibiotics necessary; the 28 hour flight to Bangkok in wait – all a good start in that general direction. I will be traveling alone, yet again, and only those I meet along the way will accompany me. I expect to find a miraculously foreign place, filled with unknown languages, strange smells, stranger food, wonderful people, odd landscapes, white sand beaches, aqua-blue and crystal clear water - the whole while under beautiful and treacherous weather alike. As always, I have made plans, and, as always, I expect those plans to be miserably misshapen and mutilated along the way. Countries on the itinerary are Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Malaysia, and Indonesia. Whether I get to all of these will be up to Buddha, I suppose. Four Months seems to be an appropriate window of time to do all that I plan to do, so this is how long I have planned to do it, naturally. Here's to throwing myself at Asia; let us hope it catches me!

In Flight:

I would not be telling the whole truth if I said that I didn't feel a tad reluctant flying over countries like Syria and Iraq, in order to arrive in Dubai for my connecting flight to Bangkok. Civil war and international conflict tend to do that to a Westerner, I suppose. A rational mind does not stand a chance against an irrational thought, I've found. Anyway, my experience in Dubai was very limited, but as far as I could tell, luxury is the way of things in the city. I shall say no more and let the length of this paragraph reflect the amount of time I spent there, and my total knowledge of it. I must come back – this I know.

Upon Arrival:

Culture shock is as inevitable in a place like Bangkok as it is that it's streets will ever resemble anything other than what could be mistaken as, if only briefly, civilized. The man whose job it was to paint lanes on the streets here must be forever sad, as his efforts have been entirely ignored. The sensation and feeling of apprehension one should get before entering a taxi or tuk-tuk in this city is the same one should get before getting on a particularly rickety roller coaster, or before storming the beaches of Normandy even, I should think. The manner in which they function is not of this world; it isn't human. The driver I was blessed with left only inches between the vehicle in front of us and the poor excuse for a motor bike behind us as he was making blinker-less, blind turns into raging traffic; and he was highly certified, as he insistently pointed out a time or two by showing me the pictures of him receiving his certifications, rather than the certifications themselves, of course; while driving, mind you. If driving conditions should be classified as white water rapids are classified, the streets here would be Class-5 or perhaps even the catalyst to invent higher degrees. And the colors! The taxis are neon green, sky blue, hot pink, bright yellow, and eye-sore red. What a mess. Kind of a wonderful mess though. I'm not sure that I would want Bangkok to be any different than this. It is precisely how I imagined it would be, and not a measure off. This all after only hours in the city. Wonderful.