Bangkok Insomnia

" An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools " - Ernest Hemingway

Presently, I have digested enough of Bangkok's lunacy through experience to reflect that digestion, or perhaps throw it up. Though I have been to all breeds of cities over four continents in the past year; I can say, truthfully, that none are like Bangkok in any way besides that they, too, can be classified as cities. In Bangkok, one can walk from a Grand Palace where he prays to an Emerald Buddha atop a castle of gold, to a street market where motorized scooters rush past with barely enough room to fit a pineapple. The markets here are mystifying. The smells are abhorrent. The people are mesmerizing. It took two full days for my culture shock to be downgraded to culture surprise. I feel now that I am adjusted enough to function as a regular human being should function.

Now; the people. They are timid to Westerners but have the capacity to scam them into all sorts of tourist traps. My first day in Bangkok, I was met by a man on the street wearing nice clothes who spoke decent English who asked me: “Where are you going”. I told him that I was just walking around for a bit getting my bearings. He asked me: “Where are you from” and I told him that I was from America. His eyes lit up and he said: “ I have Uncle in Detroit”. After some basic back and forth, broken and scattered conversation, a tuk-tuk pulled up next to us. The man told me to get in and that the driver would take me to a tourist information office where I could plan weeks of my trip in advance; like bus tickets and hotel accommodations. Very well, I got in and took a wild ride through the city to a broken down, beat up office, where I was told to go speak with the people inside. I did just that. It was ten minutes into the most wretched conversation with the most backwards communication I have ever been a part of, until I realized that I was being washed around and around in a tourist trap; close to buying a trip to Northern Thailand to see elephants, instead of buying bus tickets to local hotels. It hit me all at once, and I said something along the lines of: “oh, ok!, I must go now”. The women I had been talking to realized she had failed and would not even look me in the eye. Score one for the tourist. I went back to the hostel. This is one story of many scam stories I could tell, but this one was my first, and the one I got caught in. The rest I have had the luxury of experience to recognize as sewage, and have steered away.

Mayhem is everywhere in Bangkok at night. Try a few cups of coffee followed by a few rounds of drinks before leaving the hotel; and then maybe another cup of coffee. The first step into the street is like being hit by a truck of activity ( and look out for actual trucks too ); locals asking strange questions, neon lights everywhere, food stands as far as one can look, massage parlors every ten yards, shops with more merchandise than all the malls in America combined, dogs wandering around as if they were going to the market for fruit, cats walking across window sills and in restaurants as if they were inspecting their operation and monitoring their employees; people sleeping, eating talking, wandering, playing, singing, dancing, cooking. There is life and movement in all the atmosphere. There is chaos all around that somehow, though no one can say why, manages itself as if an efficient machine.

The food is as wonderful as can be expected, if the right dish is chosen. Always a gamble it is pointing to something on a menu and hoping not to get something with eyeballs or pulsating lungs. When success is reached, the combination of spice and texture is glorious. Healthy too, I should imagine, as most dishes contain all sorts of vegetables and rice. Perhaps the best part is the price, though. A full meal on the street will cost no more than 2 or 3 US dollars – as much as some candy bars at home.

Surely, Bangkok is a rare combination of dirt and cleanliness, poverty ridden streets and palm trees. Beauty and the beast kind of a city, I think. I can't decide whether I hate it or love it. In the morning I am taking a river boat up the most polluted river I have ever seen - nasty dog sized lizards eating it's trash: and in the afternoon I am getting a Thai massage for an hour in the most relaxing setting imaginable, with jungle sounds and cool breezes all around, for ten dollars! I think I love it. I think!